Hii,
FINALLY!! I have only 3 more weeks of school which means only 12 more days. I know what you are probably thinking: 3 x 5 isn't 12, but you see it is 12 more days because my school finishes on thursday, and about a week before the last day of school there is going to be a conference thingy where my parents have to come and see how horrible I did during school. And the last day isn't really a full day it is basically just signing yearbooks and listening to a very boring speech from the director of the school. During the summer my family and I are going to Croatia. I love the sea and everything in Croatia but the thing is that we are going with my mum's friend from collage I think. This is going to be pretty awkward. You see my mum's friend has a kid. Not awkward yet! Since my mum and her friend met in collage they have been around MY whole life. It would be weird if the wouldn't have you know. So the kid is about the same age as I am, so we were little kids running around naked and taking baths together and stuff. It didn't really bother me that I was running around naked when I was 3 or something. And there is another thing. There is a picture my mum took of my brother that kid and me in the bath together. This picture is hung on the family collage. This family collage has a lot of pictures from when I was a kid. Now that you know that you can imagine how awkward that is. Even when I see him I think of that picture and remember the awkwardness that I was naked in a bath with a stranger and my brother. Oh and I forgot to mention that the kid was a boy!!! I don't really mind about my brother but that kid who happens to be a boy the same age as I am I CARE ABOUT THAT!! AND IT IS VERY AWKWARD!! Anyways for the rest of the summer I probably going to be locked up in the house watching some movie and being antisocial just as I am usually. Scrolling through instagram and tumblr and see other people having a great time with their friends. Which now I have none of. I mean I have no friends. I get along with basically everyone in school but I wouldn't call anybody there my friend.
Another thing I forgot to mention is that I am pretty good at acting. Not to brag or anything but acted as if I was having a panic attack to my family and they believed it. I thought that if I have a panic attack they maybe won't let me go to school so I can recover but no that part of my plan failed. Stupid me. My parents still don't know and I am really guilty, I don't want to see that terrified expression on my mum's face again. But I also feel a bit proud that I could act as if I really had a panic attack. I also know that it is not something to joke about because these things are serious and can get bad and I promise that I won't do it again. I AM SORRY!!!!!! You know how everyone has that thing they are good at? My brother is good with computers and he is a very good athlete. My mum has ambition and can do anything if she wants to do it. I on the other hand have only one thing. Acting. That's all. But there is a bad thing. I am introvert with absolute no interest in socializing with people or going to a party and dancing my butt of. I am not outgoing, at least that is what people think when I am at school. I am the quiet girl who sits in the back of the class, is chubby and has no friends. At home I am the one that is really myself. This summer there is this camp for people that want to act. The thing is it is a bit expensive and my family isn't having the best time with money right now. I thought that maybe if I go to that camp I can start of with a new clean page of who I am to the public. Maybe I can be more of the person I am at home, the crazy, weird, caring and maybe fun person. Oh God that sounds so cheesy and like everyone else in my school, but I promise you that I won't be like any of them. I am so different from them but I can't exactly put it into other words that make sense.
Wow ok that was long! If you made it until here can you please comment or somehow show me that you actually came until here. PLEASE!! You can comment anything you like just don't be rude. That's all for now!!!
Bye,
MaSh
Monday, 30 May 2016
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
STUFF #1
Hiii,
Best friends are supposed to help you through rough times, make you smile and laugh, make you feel at ease and make you feel comfortable telling them anything you like or if something bothers you or if you feel like crying, RIGHT??? Then why do I feel like my best friend is almost none of those things. She makes me laugh sometimes, I make her laugh with my antisocial life, she knows a lot about me and I know a lot about her. We have been besties since third grade. We had our up and downs in our friendship but we never fought. Until last year everything was going fine. Last year came two new girls to our class. They changed everything. My bestie decided to be friends with them, so obviously she dragged me along, and I didn't mind that. It only went downhill from there I think. We became "best friends". They were not real ones, I was always on my best friends side (A quality of mine is that I am very loyal) and sometimes the two girls fought against each other. It was sooooooooooo much girl drama. As I mentioned it before I am not a girly girl so I am not used to it and it hit me like the sea hits the shore on a very stormy night. I hated it and I got sick of it so most of last year I decided not to talk as much as I used to, I kept all thoughts to myself. It was a hard year for me. This year I went through a lot. My dog died. We didn't have a lot of money. I felt envious what others had and I didn't. I cried for weeks about my dog and I still cry now if I see a picture or if anything reminds me of him. We have another new dog now, she is half labrador half german shepherd. My mum works, but in addition she is also a translator. She knows more than one language and it is kind of her hobby to translate. Yes, I know it sounds boring but when I need help with roots of words or what language it came from she can always help and I also happy that she does this as something she loves. Over the last few months not a lot of translating jobs came, so we didn't have that extra money we used to have. In the school I go to most of the kids are have very rich parents. The school is a school that you have to pay for, I got into the school with a scholarship so my parents didn't have to pay. Sometimes I feel like my best friend forgets that my family isn't as rich as her's is so she sometimes starts to brag. I hate when people brag that they are going to get this and that. In this case my bestie was getting a hoverboard. I have wanted a hoverboard for months. She started to talk about how she was going to get a hoverboard and she was very happy. I liked that she was happy and I showed that I was happy for her and she believed that so she just talked more and more about it. I showed no sign that I was jealous. After she got the hoverboard she stopped talking about it. Thankfully. As the weeks went by we made our friendship closer and closer. Last week I was ill, so I didn't go to school for a whole week. Today was very awkward. I barely talked to her all day and I could feel the tension between us. We usually talk a lot together about a lot of random stuff, but not today. When lunchtime rolled around we ate with those two girls from last year. Even though we had a fight in the beginning of the year and we decided not to best friends anymore just be friends we still talked to them and sometimes ate with them. Today we spent the whole lunchtime with them. They were talking about some boy that one of the girls liked and pointless stuff like that. I was ignored the whole time. I walked behind them, and didn't talk a lot. I felt like they didn't want me to be there. I wanted to go but at the same time I wanted to stay, so I won't loose my friend. Now as I am typing this I feel absolutely disgusting about myself. Me being jealous won't change anything. I hope things will work out with my best friend, right now I feel like I only have my One Direction family and other people that are as antisocial as me and spend their whole day on either tumblr, twitter, or youtube. I hope what happened to me won't happen to you!
Bye,
Mash
Best friends are supposed to help you through rough times, make you smile and laugh, make you feel at ease and make you feel comfortable telling them anything you like or if something bothers you or if you feel like crying, RIGHT??? Then why do I feel like my best friend is almost none of those things. She makes me laugh sometimes, I make her laugh with my antisocial life, she knows a lot about me and I know a lot about her. We have been besties since third grade. We had our up and downs in our friendship but we never fought. Until last year everything was going fine. Last year came two new girls to our class. They changed everything. My bestie decided to be friends with them, so obviously she dragged me along, and I didn't mind that. It only went downhill from there I think. We became "best friends". They were not real ones, I was always on my best friends side (A quality of mine is that I am very loyal) and sometimes the two girls fought against each other. It was sooooooooooo much girl drama. As I mentioned it before I am not a girly girl so I am not used to it and it hit me like the sea hits the shore on a very stormy night. I hated it and I got sick of it so most of last year I decided not to talk as much as I used to, I kept all thoughts to myself. It was a hard year for me. This year I went through a lot. My dog died. We didn't have a lot of money. I felt envious what others had and I didn't. I cried for weeks about my dog and I still cry now if I see a picture or if anything reminds me of him. We have another new dog now, she is half labrador half german shepherd. My mum works, but in addition she is also a translator. She knows more than one language and it is kind of her hobby to translate. Yes, I know it sounds boring but when I need help with roots of words or what language it came from she can always help and I also happy that she does this as something she loves. Over the last few months not a lot of translating jobs came, so we didn't have that extra money we used to have. In the school I go to most of the kids are have very rich parents. The school is a school that you have to pay for, I got into the school with a scholarship so my parents didn't have to pay. Sometimes I feel like my best friend forgets that my family isn't as rich as her's is so she sometimes starts to brag. I hate when people brag that they are going to get this and that. In this case my bestie was getting a hoverboard. I have wanted a hoverboard for months. She started to talk about how she was going to get a hoverboard and she was very happy. I liked that she was happy and I showed that I was happy for her and she believed that so she just talked more and more about it. I showed no sign that I was jealous. After she got the hoverboard she stopped talking about it. Thankfully. As the weeks went by we made our friendship closer and closer. Last week I was ill, so I didn't go to school for a whole week. Today was very awkward. I barely talked to her all day and I could feel the tension between us. We usually talk a lot together about a lot of random stuff, but not today. When lunchtime rolled around we ate with those two girls from last year. Even though we had a fight in the beginning of the year and we decided not to best friends anymore just be friends we still talked to them and sometimes ate with them. Today we spent the whole lunchtime with them. They were talking about some boy that one of the girls liked and pointless stuff like that. I was ignored the whole time. I walked behind them, and didn't talk a lot. I felt like they didn't want me to be there. I wanted to go but at the same time I wanted to stay, so I won't loose my friend. Now as I am typing this I feel absolutely disgusting about myself. Me being jealous won't change anything. I hope things will work out with my best friend, right now I feel like I only have my One Direction family and other people that are as antisocial as me and spend their whole day on either tumblr, twitter, or youtube. I hope what happened to me won't happen to you!
Bye,
Mash
Saturday, 26 March 2016
One Direction
Hiii,
So in my last post I mentioned how much I love 1D and I felt the need to explain it a bit more. My favorite member is Louis, he is probably the most underrated member of One Direction. He does a lot of things for charity even if we don't see some of them. I of course love all of them and I know that the others also do a lot of charity work but something for me about how Louis's brain works, how he is caring, loving but also can have fun and loves to do pranks at the same time is amazing. I would like to be friends with them, just be their friend not their love interest. I also would like to mention that when I say One Direction I am also talking about the people who play the instruments, the management and the Directioners. I also found this definition by Urban Dictionary that I found a very good definition of who is a Directioner. When people say they are Directioners I don't believe them right away. I look at how they act, what they say and stuff like that because I feel like some people say that they are part of the fandom when they are only a fan (to understand meaning of this sentence please check the definition of a Directioner linked to the word definition). One Direction isn't just a band for me. By that I mean it is a family where people understand me, and help me get over the fact that I am probably never going to meet them or be their friend. We are also act like a family, we fight, we annoy each other, support each other but most of all love each other. I mean what other fandom could leak songs, hack security cameras just to watch Mr. Harry Styles sit on a bench. I bet all of the other fandoms envy ours. I love the memes that people created and all of the fanfictions. I love how they goof on the stage while concerts and not have dance routines. I feel like what I am trying to say is that I love One Direction because they are not like others, they are unique and original. There is that one tiny problem I have though that some of the fans do not respect the boys. They leak pictures for example. Like this week someone leaked some private photos of Harry. And I do not like when people do not respect others. But most of the time our fandom is awesome and I really hope that they come back in a few years. I am also SO happy for Louis I mean he is a dad now, how awesome is that. I hate that a lot of people are saying that the baby is not real and Larry, Larry, Larry. I would also like to add that I am really sad that Zayn left but he has done some amazing work over the past year and I will support him no matter what happens even if I disagree with some of his decisions. I have seen a lot of videos about One Direction, some emotional ones (that I cried over), some funny ones but this one especially stood out to me. Thank you for the person that made that video, I cried for a week probably. Also check out that channel they have a lot of One Direction videos that I think you might like. Sorry that this post was kind of all over the place but that pretty much sums up my thoughts/feelings about One Direction.
Bye,
Mash
So in my last post I mentioned how much I love 1D and I felt the need to explain it a bit more. My favorite member is Louis, he is probably the most underrated member of One Direction. He does a lot of things for charity even if we don't see some of them. I of course love all of them and I know that the others also do a lot of charity work but something for me about how Louis's brain works, how he is caring, loving but also can have fun and loves to do pranks at the same time is amazing. I would like to be friends with them, just be their friend not their love interest. I also would like to mention that when I say One Direction I am also talking about the people who play the instruments, the management and the Directioners. I also found this definition by Urban Dictionary that I found a very good definition of who is a Directioner. When people say they are Directioners I don't believe them right away. I look at how they act, what they say and stuff like that because I feel like some people say that they are part of the fandom when they are only a fan (to understand meaning of this sentence please check the definition of a Directioner linked to the word definition). One Direction isn't just a band for me. By that I mean it is a family where people understand me, and help me get over the fact that I am probably never going to meet them or be their friend. We are also act like a family, we fight, we annoy each other, support each other but most of all love each other. I mean what other fandom could leak songs, hack security cameras just to watch Mr. Harry Styles sit on a bench. I bet all of the other fandoms envy ours. I love the memes that people created and all of the fanfictions. I love how they goof on the stage while concerts and not have dance routines. I feel like what I am trying to say is that I love One Direction because they are not like others, they are unique and original. There is that one tiny problem I have though that some of the fans do not respect the boys. They leak pictures for example. Like this week someone leaked some private photos of Harry. And I do not like when people do not respect others. But most of the time our fandom is awesome and I really hope that they come back in a few years. I am also SO happy for Louis I mean he is a dad now, how awesome is that. I hate that a lot of people are saying that the baby is not real and Larry, Larry, Larry. I would also like to add that I am really sad that Zayn left but he has done some amazing work over the past year and I will support him no matter what happens even if I disagree with some of his decisions. I have seen a lot of videos about One Direction, some emotional ones (that I cried over), some funny ones but this one especially stood out to me. Thank you for the person that made that video, I cried for a week probably. Also check out that channel they have a lot of One Direction videos that I think you might like. Sorry that this post was kind of all over the place but that pretty much sums up my thoughts/feelings about One Direction.
Bye,
Mash
Friday, 25 March 2016
Welcome To The Little Corner Of The Internet That I Call My Blog
Hiii,
Right I am going to get right to the point. This blog is going to be about stuff I think about, a lot of random and weird things you might be able to relate to. Maybe....maybe not. Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you my name. My name is Mash. Yeah, like mash potatoes except I not a potato (hopefully....maybe I am). Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am not really girly, I almost never wear dresses or really act like a stereotypical girl. And I am fine with that, but sometimes it gets hard. In school I am definitely not popular, I am shy in school and don't talk to many people. I am not really a shy person at home or anywhere elsewhere except school. I have a bestfriend since I was in third grade and we are still best friends even though we both have changed quite a bit. She is now more confident in school, unlike me. She is a bit more girly than me and waaaay cooler. Now lets get to my family and stop talking about all of my problems in school. Right, I have two parents (not divorced) and I have an older brother. My brother can be annoying sometimes. Sometimes? No, always. Except sometimes. There. Now you know a bit about me. And how weird I am. Oh and one more thing, I am a Directioner, and always will be.
Bye,
MaSh
Right I am going to get right to the point. This blog is going to be about stuff I think about, a lot of random and weird things you might be able to relate to. Maybe....maybe not. Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you my name. My name is Mash. Yeah, like mash potatoes except I not a potato (hopefully....maybe I am). Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am not really girly, I almost never wear dresses or really act like a stereotypical girl. And I am fine with that, but sometimes it gets hard. In school I am definitely not popular, I am shy in school and don't talk to many people. I am not really a shy person at home or anywhere elsewhere except school. I have a bestfriend since I was in third grade and we are still best friends even though we both have changed quite a bit. She is now more confident in school, unlike me. She is a bit more girly than me and waaaay cooler. Now lets get to my family and stop talking about all of my problems in school. Right, I have two parents (not divorced) and I have an older brother. My brother can be annoying sometimes. Sometimes? No, always. Except sometimes. There. Now you know a bit about me. And how weird I am. Oh and one more thing, I am a Directioner, and always will be.
Bye,
MaSh
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